Personalized Ceremony

After four years of living in Brookings, Jin Hang Ng, an honors student at South Dakota State University, was ready to head home to Penang, Malaysia.

He faced a strict two-week quarantine when he returned to his native country and was being cautious about social distancing in his final days here. But he couldn’t resist the outstretched arms of an SDSU engineering administrator who had reached out to him throughout his time at State and before that had befriended his father in Malaysia.

Rich Reid, associate dean of academics and extension in the Jerome J. Lohr College of Engineering, emailed Ng in late April just to check on him.

The computer science major would have received his diploma at the May 9 commencement ceremony, but when all classes went online and graduation became a virtual ceremony, Ng changed his plans. He decided studying for and taking finals was a good thing to do while in quarantine, so he was flying to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, April 26.

“His graduation party was going to be at our house,” but the COVID-19 pandemic canceled plans for his family to fly here just like it canceled plans for a live graduation, Reid said.

A surprise ceremony

When Reid learned of Ng’s early departure plans, he encouraged him to stop by to say goodbye. Reid, who retired from State in June, then got to thinking about the honors medallion Ng was to receive. While a virtual ceremony was being held to honor those students, their actual medallion was to be shipped along with other commencement memorabilia.

Reid was given permission to present Ng’s medallion
on behalf of the institution and Jamison Lamp, SDSU events coordinator, dug through packages to find the one addressed to Ng.

Reid, who has done extensive international recruiting for the college, grabbed his academic regalia for an April 25 ceremony in his Brookings backyard. It was a simple, but meaningful, ceremony. Just Reid, his wife, Kathy, and Ng, who plans to become a software engineer in Kuala Lumpur.

It was a ceremony Ng wasn’t expecting

“I just wanted to give him a gift before I left. And I definitely expected to leave my possibly contagious package outside their garage for two days to disinfect and then shout my goodbyes from 6 feet away. But, as always, Dr. Reid had better ideas.

“I’d caught wind of some possible surprise brewing at the Reids from Dr. Bott-Knutson (dean of the Van D. and Barbara B. Fishback Honors College), but I just thought maybe we’ll pop some balloons? I didn’t think it was going to be this elaborate.

“So, when I rolled down the window, ready to make a drop and run, Dr. Reid said, ‘Come on in. We’ve got a medallion ceremony for you.’ I thought ‘Ah no, a planned ceremony is too much to say no to.’ So, I instantly became anxious about possibly infecting them with COVID-19. It was a real struggle for 10 seconds, but since I had a cloth mask and I was comfortable with my prior hygienic and preventative habits, I went on in. You can say I was anxiously excited, and more so the former.”

Memories made through life invested

Ng has several lasting memories from that day.

“I was taking off my shoes, and Dr. Reid said ‘Nice shoes.’ He gave those to me a few years back along with socks after I came to their house in holey shoes and socks too many times.

“I was standing in his kitchen and saw a familiar oven. I was reminded of the countless pies that came out of it fresh and hot, and into my tummy on cold winter days. Also, the scoops after scoops of perfect mashed potatoes with gracefully descending gravy plus turkey from Mrs. Reid’s recipes. And for that day (April 25), Mrs. Reid baked me lovely cinnamon cookies served on a Jackrabbit plate.

“I was out in the backyard, and remembered when huge chunks of snow fell right there for the first time, at my first Thanksgiving four years ago.”

During the brief ceremony, Reid read a congratulatory letter from Bott-Knutson.

Ng said, “I don’t remember it all. But I do remember how it felt, because I teared up at the word ‘love.’”

Reid said, “Then I hung the medallion around his neck, said a tearful goodbye and sent him on his way.” He noted both were wearing facemasks.

Ng added, “I was preparing to leave, it just struck me that they are risking their lives to make this happen. I was near my car when I thanked him for just the care and love he gave me all these years, and the time his hands trembled in unbelievable cold helping me fix my car. The lasting memory is a professor and a family who cared. A lot.”

Sincere appreciation

The next day Ng was heading to Malaysia, where Reid first met Ng’s father, Eric, in September 2016.

Reid first met Ng soon after he got back from that 2016 trip to Malaysia.

“When I got back, I found out his class schedule and made a point to be in the hallway when class got out. I stopped him in the hallway, and asked him who this was,” showing a picture of Reid and Eric Ng. That creative introduction began a friendship that grew through the years.

One cold winter day, after Ng had purchased a car, he was shopping at Walmart for a new battery because his car wouldn’t start. He called Reid for advice and got a dinner invite instead.

Ng’s car was still in a residence hall parking lot.

“I said you’re not going to walk from Walmart back to your dorm carrying a battery on a 20-below day. I had him go back to the dorm and later picked him up and took him to Walmart. We tried to put the battery in his car but between the cold and corroded cables we couldn’t get it done. I jumpstarted his car, called home and asked Kathy to set another plate for dinner. We parked his car in the garage to thaw out and then after dinner we changed the battery,” Reid said.

Ng also has been a Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter visitor at the Reids.

Guiding principle

Now literally a half-world away (there is a 13-hour time difference), Ng wrote Reid that he wanted “people to know what you did for me and spread some positive news.”

In a graduation day email to Reid, Ng wrote, “I still absolutely appreciate what you did. Thank you. I will not ever forget that I graduated from your backyard, literally and figuratively.”

The story illustrates a principle that has guided Reid during his 25 years at SDSU: “Life is about relationships, and I treasure those relationships and memories,” he said.

– Dave Graves